sometimes I want to scream, because of the lack of respect and focus I give to God and his people.
My relationship with God, has been descent..always can be better. But, honesty my relationship with my parents through God...has not been settling for awhile. seriously, i disregard my parents without a doubt, don't show Christ love to them very often, and don't spend the time I always think about spending with them...with them. I feel like a effin failure daughter. I have no excuse. I love God and he calls us to respect our parents. Though I love my parents and am so grateful for them, it takes a lot out of my to show them my appreciation, this has been an ongoing probably from since I can remember. I'm still wondering why it is so hard for me to show grace and humility towards them. they do so much for me, and yet I say "thank you" and move on. yes, I know selfish right? so much so. God's given me a lot a great safe family, financial support, family support, and MORE but yet, i act like a freakin' brat and instead of using what is given for God's glory I find myself being lazy in it and just sitting on my ass. I'm broken. God, help me love you with all my heart, and find peace in you and that's all. In Him great things branch out to a more stable honoring life. that's it. i now owe my parents an apology.
I have the same problem. but I think my parents can make it hard for me to be good to them, because I have to figure out how to respect them while not living by their expectations of me (because I don't think it's what God wants of me either). so I often pray that they'll one day be changed by an experience with God, so that they can begin to understand me.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be too hard on yourself... as you said, it's easiest to let down those closest to you, and family is one of the hardest things in the world. it's something you might be wrestling with for decades if not the rest of your life. and that wouldn't mean you're a failure, just human. so don't beat yourself up if this isn't solved by tomorrow.